How to divorce smart? Alimony? Custody?

My husband and I have been married just over a year and a half. He has a law degree and incredibly smart so I'm afraid he's going to make sure I get as little as possible during the divorce. When he met me I introduced him to his now boss and took him from a 35k a year salary to 150k+. When we got married we agreed that when we had a baby I would quit my career and become a stay at home mom. I owned my own salon, built up a large clientele and worked 50hrs a week to barely make things meet. I got preggo on the honeymoon and worked until we moved when I was 6 months along. I no longer have that career, nor can I work those hours with a baby to raise. I've now caught him on matchmaking sites where he claims I abuse his other children and don't even state OUR child as one of his children and says this is why he left me (which neither of us have left yet). For me to get a good paying job I'll have to go back to school part time. What are my chances of alimony based on all this??

How to divorce smart? Alimony? Custody?
Your best bet would be to start secretly documenting everything. Find a place to stash all those documents but not in your home, garage or car. Start secretly stashing money and applying for jobs (no matter how little the pay is so you can show the judge you are responsible and capable of bringing in income to take care of your child). Once you have a decent nest egg built, move out without telling him. Do NOT deny him access to his child. Do NOT tell him any of your plans or actions. When you file the papers, do it before moving out and when he least expects it. Your best weapon will be catching him off guard and his own *********. Also, start looking into lawyers in your town and speak with the ones who offer free consultations. Print out everything you find about him on the internet. It sounds to me like if you were able to come up with the money to hire a private investigator, you would even be able to pull up physical evidence of dirt on him.





And do NOT assume that just because he is a man and you stayed home with your child that you will have a better chance of gaining custody. The courts today are all about mens rights and a man just showing up to court looks like an excellent father-even if he is the biggest douche bag to walk the face of the earth. Go to court prepared to explain why you are the MORE FIT parent and why it is in your CHILDS BEST INTEREST for him/her to be raised by you.





EDIT: You say there is nothing to capture but you also said he wont take his medicine, is abusive and never spends time with his daughter. The more evidence you have of these things, the better your chances are. Or you can just keep making excuses and ignore the advice of others who went through the same thing.
Reply:Document, document, document. Take screen shots of everything you've found on the computer, and make copies of them, and keep at least two copies in a safe deposit box at the bank.





Get and video/photograph anything that will help your side of it. Without that, you don't stand a chance.





Record him being abusive, record him not taking his medications. On video. Hidden, if necessary. Record you trying to get him to take his meds, and him refusing. Record his resulting behaviour from his lack of meds.





Don't even THINK about relying on him for either alimony or child support. The court may order either or both, but that doesn't mean that he will pay up. NEVER depend on anyone else for your roof over your head or that of your children.





You'll need to get back out there, rebuild your client base, and get your business going again. This is the only way you'll make it and you MUST show that you are able to provide for your child to the court, if you want custody.





P.S. From the very minute you married (and before that even) you should have had a bank account or other money stashing place that no one but you knows about. EVERY woman should do this from the minute they get married. So many women have been caught broke and unable to care for their children or themselves, or even hire a good lawyer, when the marriages go bad, it's not even funny. Preventative measures like this will help prevent such things from happening.
Reply:Start copying his dating pages for proof in the courts as to his disowning his daughter. You really need to document all of his and your comings and goings and who does what for all of the children and in the house. This will prove his infidelity and his lack of commitment to his family. As for your career, there are lots of government grants out there ready to go to career driven women. You could open your salon again. Sure it will be hard at first but it will be worth it in the end. You could also look into grants and scholarships and attend some online classes to fit your personal schedule. As long as he is making more than you and there was no pre-nup stating that he would not pay alimony, he would have to pay. Just to throw an idea out there for you, if you do head the way of the grants and salon then I also suggest that you create a child friendly room just for the care of your child and entertainment of others kids when they come. That way, children are not running around and even single moms feel comfortable coming in to have their hair and stuff done.
Reply:you need a better lawyer! not sure where you live, there is no alimony where I live; you will probably only get joint custody...but you need to talk to a lawyer and lay it all out....best to you!
Reply:You have a VERY good chance for alimony. He was the provider and head of in the household. A ljudge will make him pay. Alimony and child support.