I'm confused i can't understand my husband?

In general,my husband is a good person inside,i know that,but some of his actions,made me asume the worst,even when things are fine.I'm a jealous person,and i'm starting to make our life hard by the daily struggle but i just can't help it.I've been married for two years,we have a beautiful 10 months old girl.He made several mistakes in the beginning of our marriage,and less but still until now.He has awandering eye,i started to notice that he treats me differently after he interacts with a beautiful girl,i caught him opening matchmaking sites,called a porn line when i was away,and lied about it,sneeked to a neighbours window cause they dress like horns,he always finds a strong excuse and he has a way in manipulating,but the majority time i feel his love for me in his eyes,i'm not stupid i can tell,he's a good father too,but when he does something like those i go back to wondering again,is he a good candidate as a cheater?Or he's just a normal guy?I wish i can explain more but no space

I'm confused i can't understand my husband?
Hes a creep............spying on people..........get real
Reply:No, he is NOT a good father. A good father shows respect to women in general and the mother of his child in particular. How he treats you will teach your daughter what kind of treatment to expect from men. I would not want this kind of treatment for her - or for you.





When making a judgment of staying married, you observe actions - not words. If what people say does not agree with actions - go by their action. It is how someone actually treats you that tells you how much they care, respect, honor and cherish you. This guy demonstrates none of those qualities. I wonder what about your husband would cause you to say he is "a good perosn inside"? I see no demonstration of that, do you?





I don't think he is a good candidate as a cheater - he IS a cheater. Get smart, Sweetie!





How someone treats you initially is how they treat people - period!
Reply:Oh sweetie, he's just a normal, guy! They are basically all the same. The law of the human jungle dictates that man must spread his genetics as far and wide as is possible. And hopefully not get caught in the act! It's a basic instinct. They should learn to control it, and many do, like your husband, but it doesn't stop him from window shopping! Don't you ever look at a cute guy from time to time and wonder? It's normal. It's human. Stop being paranoid, enjoy your gorgeous baby...and welcome to the real world!
Reply:tell you now dump him
Reply:move on
Reply:I don't know your husband. I can't say whether or not he is or could be a cheater. But from what you are describing, it seems that he doesn't respect you. Respect is as important as fidelity, if not more important.
Reply:I'd have to admit he is boarder line, could go either way...and that is fairly normal for anyone man or women....it doesn't sound like he has crossed the line but the important issue is that he know the consequences to his actions...so once faced with such a decision he will think before he acts...make him perfectly clear that you won't tolerate or accept cheating nor acts that could lead up to it...give him the opportunity to prove himself...and decide for yourself if he is normal or someone out of control ...good luck.
Reply:Nothing to worry...He's just a normal guy. Start worrying if he starts to be attracted to men. Also excessive jealousy can only kill his love for you.





"Love is like a little bird in your hand". Squeeze it tight and it will die. On the other hand, hold it too loose and it will fly. Jealousy in moderation is a sign of love. So I think your marriage will be just fine if you pratice "moderation."
Reply:his a perv
Reply:no one deserves to be cheated on and a marriage last through trust if no trust then forget abou t it.
Reply:I think that you need to sit down with him and lay everything out on the table and start being more open to him. But do bear in mind, sometimes men are men. they like looking at girls, they like porn. But if you think his behaviour is over the limit then its time to talk to him. Nonetheless, men will always be men and you cant separate them from oggling at women and porn.
Reply:Its difficult to know for definite just from your description but I trust my boyfriend 100% and he does not act like that at all. He is attentive, doesn't look at other women and treats me really well. I couldn't live like you are. I would find it really difficult to cope with, if I had any doubts at all. I wish you all the best with whatever happens.
Reply:Your husband sounds like me when i was that way a few years ago. Only i was worse and had a affair with another woman for 5 years. My wife found out and of course she became mad, but she decided to take positive steps and started to focus on herself. Trying to look pretty, exercising, becoming slim, developing a nice bosom, being more nice to me. Eventually, i came around and realized what i had become and now our marriage is still intact after 16 yrs together. It also helped me/us when we became Christians. There are a lot of advices the Bible gives on faithfulness in marriage and about sexual standards and that has helped me deal with my own wandering eye and mind. Good luck. Andretti
Reply:He sounds like a freak.
Reply:He is deceiving you and lying to you about it. Do not trust this man who already has transgressed your relationship. He obviously has a roving eye and probably feels that he hasn't *sown his wild oats yet*.


This is not a normal husband.





Your husband may have his sexual appetites curbed when he gets arrested for voyerism, and trespassing for the intent of privacy violations.





I'd question the future of a marriage with a man I could not trust.
Reply:Stated like a truly confused wife.You know he has a wandering eye,he visits dating sites,calls porn lines and unless i didn`t get you right,peeps at your neighbours through their window so pleeease,what don`t you understand?He`s got the makings of a well-rounded pervert and here you are deluding yourself thet he loves you and then blaming your neighbours for dressing like whores(i think you meant).I`m sorry,but this bloke isn`t just a cheater, he`s a PERVERT!
Reply:This is a controlling situation where you are being belittled and made to feel that you are in the wrong. Jealous people do tend to read into innocent things so if you said he was looking at women in the street or watches Home and Away for the birds then I would tell you to calm down. However, he is actually going on dodgy websites and acting like a peeping Tom so I am afraid I don't think what he is doing is right. You are a jealous person and if anything, he needs to reassure you - not go all out to get the reaction. I seriously think you need to give him some ground rules. Either he keeps his beady eyes off others or you will ask him to leave. You deserve a man who pays attention to you. You have just had a baby and women are less confident in the first year of a baby's life. He should be supportive and attentive to what he has - not some tarts who are meaningless out there.
Reply:Hello??? He's spying on other women??? That is not normal at all. You need to get him into a counseling program because he needs help. Stop making excuses for his behavior and encourage him to get some help instead. I mean it's okay if you glance at somebody for a split second but staring and people, especially someone of the opposite sex is not right. Yes, he is what I would call a cheater.
Reply:Sorry, but you picked a bad one. At the end of the relationship, when you finally have gathered an enormous list of his unsuitable actions and or affairs; how old do you think your daughter will be? This is her example of what man and fathers are supposed to be like. I don't think he is a good role model. But, i know, you love him.
Reply:I would guess that you two are kind of young. The problem started long before all the stuff you described.





Talk to your own parents first.





The both of you are displaying REACTIONARY behavior not PROACTIVE.





He is not a perv and you should be proud of yourself for trying to hold your family together
Reply:Call him on it.Talk to him about it.Explain he's treading on thin ice.Set up a boundery.If he persists do it all over again.By the fifth time you catch him you won't care anymore and divorce him.
Reply:For what it is worth heres my take.--I was married for 10-now divorced for 7yrs. (old f---er?-not that old and still act young)--but I realized that it just takes a lot of work. The porn, dating sites etc.---no good--but don't let anger cloud your judgement. There are 3 things I think you should do(cause it sounds like you do love him and respect his and your daughters needs as parent/child) 1) tell him and show him how much you love him and want him in your life and every good quality you can. 2)Let him know about your concerns with his behavour and how it effects you--and maybe your daughter too one day --as non-judgementally as possible(it'll probably be tuff--but try to keep any anger under wraps) 3) Assuming he has not reacted poorly-but seems willing to work-let him know that you know you can't be perfect either, and you'd love to hear from him if he thinks you have any harmful habits that concern him(fair is fair as long as its not stuff like'you always drive slow' or 'you never want to watch sports). The last thing you have to do together. Be honest. Both decide if you're willing to put 100% into keeping this thing going. If you give each other that committment then stick to it--wether its couseling, talking to your pastor, reading and discussing books together--its a lifetime committment. Whatever you do don't stay together 'for the sake of the child'. That is the most unfair thing you could do to your daughter. And if it doesn't work out--please keep him as involved in her life as much as possible-and don't let her see any resentment you may feel. I'm someone thats been down this road--good father, gambler, cheater, well liked community member, we humans are complex creatures-one could be all of the above. Judgung him before all possibilities are worked and you making sure YOUR house is clean will only create distance. I wish you the best--good luck--and search your heart--don't settle for -or give- anything but the best. For you, for him and of course for your child.
Reply:He's not NORMAL. Does this FEEL normal to you? Seriously, your heart already knows what type of man he is. Tell him you'll cut off his man-parts, put them in a blender and feed them to him for breakfast if he doesn't start treating you with respect. Seriously, men only take advantage of women who LET THEM.